Secondhand Jesus.

Have you ever heard heaaaapssss of good reviews about a restaurant, but never actually bothered to drive all the way to check it out? Then one day, when you finally taste the food in person, it's like what you've heard doesn't even compare to how good it really is?

I believe it's the same for our relationship with Jesus.

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I was recently reminded of a revelation during Bible college in the beginning of 2018. Unsurprisingly, during that season of my life, I was being fed information about the Bible/God/Christianity constantly. Monday to Friday, 8am until 1pm, class after class, for 10 weeks. Classes on the New Testament, Old Testament, Basic Theology, Prophetic Foundations, Preaching, Leadership, Worship, Deliverance...so on. Surely I was getting spiritually fed so well that I was getting spiritually fat, right?

To be honest, it really was an overload of information. It didn't help that on top of daily classes I was working Monday and Fridays, had ministry things at night on Friday and Wednesdays, training on Tuesdays and Thursdays evenings, and church on Sundays. I did not rest enough. That was a big mistake. I used to say that with pride, "wow look at me doing all these things and still achieving highly at it all." But. I missed out man. I really missed out bad.

It's nothing to boast about.

All those commitments meant that at times I definitely missed out on hearing the voice of God. It meant that many times I was too tired and too distracted to catch what He was saying to me. It was not wise. All because during that period I didn't completely set aside that time for Him. At least for 10 weeks. Regrets to the max because I know I could've gotten so much more out of what God was handing me with my open hands, rather than just trying to catch the remnants of whatever I could with my already filled hands. Anyways, that's a reflection for another post.

Naturally, with so much going on, I barely had time to reflect and meditate on the materials daily. I tried as hard as I could to spend time with God every night but that wasn't always great. One day, my dear friend brought up the idea of 'secondhand Jesus' in a random conversation. It just stuck.

What does that even mean?

I believe I found an answer.

In a way, what's so wrong about not doing devotions but just listening to sermons or attending bible studies? Surely if I go to church on Sunday, there's no need to devote more time to read the Word, right? Surely, I can just listen to sermons or read a Christian book instead of pray and read the Bible?

I noticed that whenever I had a question about Christianity e.g. what does God think about abortion? or Why did God do this strange thing in the old testament? The first thing I'd do is ask someone else about it, search it up on google, or think logically about it. I had so many questions about God, and I noticed that I never actually prayed and asked God. lol.

Going back to the scenario I gave at the beginning of this post. This illustration really spoke to me about my relationship with Jesus.

During Bible college, the biggest trap I could've fallen into was thinking that my time spent studying about God could replace the time I spent with God.

I realised that, going to church on Sundays, attending cell group on Wednesdays, leading bible studies on Fridays, participating in church camps/retreats, and even going to Bible college does not equal to getting to know Jesus firsthand. Hearing about Jesus and how amazing He is through another person, a class, a video, a book...is absolutely not the same as meeting Jesus and speaking to Him yourself.

Why? Going back to the restaurant scenario. If all I've ever been exposed to are the good reviews online, and I allow myself to be satisfied (or rather, limited) with just that much. How will I ever be able to verify that the food is in fact that good? How will I ever know for sure that this food will suit my personal taste preferences?

How can I wholeheartedly declare how good God is if I've never spent time with Him myself, but I've only heard that this guy is great? How will I know that following Jesus is something I want to dedicated my entire life to, if I've never met Him myself?

I think the crazy thing is that you don't have to personally meet Jesus everyday; you could choose to continue to just hear about His goodness, His grace, His love through other people/platforms, and be okay with that. But mate. Let me tell you that when I was doing that, I was missing out on the full experience of His goodness and glory.

A large part of this requires...effort. You get out what you put in.

Jesus is like that good restaurant at the opposite end of the city, in another state, in another country, or even in another continent. It takes effort, initiative, discipline to experience firsthand Jesus.

No good relationship comes at no cost. (Cost in terms of time, effort, love, service...)

No good relationship is one sided. It requires effort from both ends, Jesus is already putting in the effort, but am I?

If I'd never took the initiative to finally pick up the Word of God and read it myself, and simultaneously let it read me...

If I'd never I prayed to God and dedicated time and a place to listen for His voice...

If I'd never familiarised myself to who He is, His promises for me and His plans for me...

I could not love Jesus this much right now.

Dang. This is why my devotional time with God is so important.

How did I somehow miss the weight of that for so long?

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To be completely honest, right now I'm worried that this blog will convince me that a secondhand relationship with Jesus is just as good as a firsthand relationship with Jesus. By writing these posts, designing this blog, and praying about who I should share this with. I am spending way more time editing these posts than I am with God in my personal time.

Not good.

This was a very timely reminder for myself. So a couple of questions I want to continue to ask myself;

1. Have I been getting to know Jesus for myself, or do I only know Jesus through someone or something else?

2. Am I satisfied with knowing about the goodness of Jesus through someone else, or is it time for me to fully experience His goodness personally?

My prayer for this blog is that it'd never replace my personal time with God.

For what can compare to being in the presence of the source of all peace, joy, love, grace and all things good?

Definitely not this blog.