It's not about me.

Snippets of a reflection I had a while back...

26th September 2019

Yesterday, was my first day leading cell as an intern.

The topic: 2 Peter 3:1- 15 | Gospel for the world

How I felt: Excited, nervous, somewhat confident (weirdly).

Feedback: It's so easy for me to think of all the things I did wrong.

Splitting the group too many times

No clear intro/theme for the flow of the night

Not voicing my thoughts clearly enough

Lack of material saturation

Etc.

But as I drove home yesterday and as I sit here now reflecting, I sense God speaking to me.

This is not about me.

Everything I live for as a Christian, is never so that I can do things well.

Gospel for the world - sure, I get it. We’re supposed to share this news with those around us, (blah blah) but there seems to be something more.

As a Christian I live my life on the firm foundation of the Gospel. I am a changed person, I am made new in Christ, I have eternal life and hope. God lives within me. I am Jesus’ sister yo.

But hang on.

Isn’t this still about me?

Isn’t an essential part of the Gospel to realise that my life is no longer mine?

(1 Corinthians 6:19 You are not your own, for you were bought with a price.)

Before I lived as if everything was about me, my grades, my achievements, my needs, and my wants. But now as a Christian, I know that everything I do should point towards someone else - God. The Good News isn’t about me. It is totally, completely, fully, about God, His son (Jesus), His Spirit (Holy Spirit).

It's pretty clear to me that we are called to share the Gospel (Mark 16:15). Throughout the NT we see Jesus reaching out to the outcasts, the lost, the broken, the people no one wanted to talk to. He says, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6).

But I’m not Jesus. I am not the way, the truth or the life. That’s the difference. We are not God. But how often have I made the Gospel about myself instead of about God?

I would be lying if I said there were no moments I ever caught myself trying to make it about me, about the words I say. Thinking about how I can say this in a way that convicts person ‘X’ to accept the Gospel. Even those moments that ‘seem’ good, openly admitting that I’m broken, I’m in need of a saviour, I need to surrender this to God.

I, I, I...How could this not quench the saving power of the Gospel if all that people could see in my faith, is how I respond to things.

Even as I reflect on last night, I realised there were many moments I caught myself thinking about me. Did I say that right? Did I do this right? Should I have done this instead? I wonder what they thought about what I just said?

How scary it is that I could make a night that was supposed to teach us the importance of thinking beyond ourselves, about myself. 😂😭 Perhaps this is what Peter is talking about in his letter, 2 Peter 3:4 “Above all, you must understand that in the last days scoffers will come, scoffing and following their own evil desires.”

I feel like today people are selfish to an extent that we make it ‘normal’ and ‘healthy’ to be selfish (e.g. self-help trend), maybe we've stopped seeing how this points the spotlight not onto God, but to us.

It just reminds me repeatedly of what Francis Chan once said;

"When have we walked into church not thinking about ourselves?"

“Where am I going to sit?”,

“Who am I going to sit next to?”,

“How is the message going to speak to me?”

The scary thing is when you first hear this it doesn’t seem self-centred at all. It honestly sounds like you’re passionate about God and you take your faith seriously.

But listen to this. What if we all walked into church thinking like this,

“Where should I sit so that I can leave the best spot for others?”,

“Who can I sit next to who needs a friend?”, and

“How is the message going to speak into the hearts of those who really need it?”.

What if we started to pray for others to experience the full power of the Gospel.

What if we stopped thinking about ourselves and all that we want God to do for us (e.g. jobs, grades, relationships, looks etc.) and started to really, really, prayed for the fallen world. Prayed for the power of the Gospel to infiltrate every person, and every situation, and every part of this broken world?

Can we pause and imagine how powerful that would be compared to diminishing the Gospel to the limits of our personal salvation and gain?

How sad it is that I can turn God’s enormous, beautiful, mind-blowing and powerful plan to save the entire world, into something that serves only the purpose of making my life better.

In the light of eternity and God’s hugeness, what are we but an atom?

Although I am reminded that God sees me even in this bigness. He sees you and I personally. But mostly importantly, he does not see me only. He sees also the person next to me, the person I never talk to in class, the stranger I see walking down the streets, the driver who cuts into my lane and the lecturer who just isn’t good at teaching.

He loves them the same.

Perhaps the only difference between them and I, is that they just don’t know it yet.

It’s a beautiful thing to imagine people empowered by the saving power of the Gospel who don’t keep this power within the constraints of their lives, but who use it to touch others and pass on to every person around them.

Wow, when I look at the Gospel in this way, it somehow emphasises its power so much more...?

God’s project to save the world. Not just me.

It is scary though. To openly admit how selfish I am. To admit that I try to rob God of His glory without consciously realising it.

But again, not to make this about how lacking I am, but how fulfilling He is.

In the end, the Gospel may be for me but it is not about me, or you, but it is about God, for the world.